This picture captures what I’ve been feeling the past 2 weeks really well. I haven’t been able to update my site much since I’ve recently gotten a 4th job. Somehow I’ve still managed to still average about one shoot a week and help a few other girls with shoots. Whew! Talk about being busy!
But photographers, models and editors all have lives too; so despite my efforts to create new content and keep updating: I find myself at the mercy of my schedule and the hectic lives of others. I’m not complaining though, just know that I have been working hard, and good things are on their way
The same can be said about my Biweekly’s page, I have been waiting almost half a year to feature this next girl and when the edits are in I will share!
I have known since I started doing photo shoots that there was no way I was going to be signed to a high-fashion agency like Ford or Wilhelmina , I am just a little too short (and curvy) believe it or not to be in high fashion. But I have known several girls who are like me, friendly, hardworking, cute and they actually make more money than a lot of wispy thin girls who try to make it through agencies or designers. They accomplish this through working promotional events and being a commercial/life style model. I’ve considered applying for companies that staff these events for quite sometime, but I’ve always been opposed to the typical “girl in studio” type of shoot (which is required to apply). I’ve always found those type of shoots to be boring, and cheesy, BUT I decided it was time to apply to promotional companies and get it done.
I said before that this picture captures how I’ve felt, let me elaborate on that. The day I did this shoot I had just gotten off of 6 hours of work, I had bronchitis, I hadn’t showered that morning, I was doing homework in between takes and for some reason it was almost impossible to smile. I was ashamed that the standard I hold myself to was not being met. This sense of shame has loomed over me the past two weeks and when I review my most recent shoots I can tell my confidence is wavering.
I can’t quite describe how it feels to know that you’re doing everything you can to get results, and they still aren’t happening. I would say I’m frustrated, but I know that’s a waste of time. I would say I’m disappointed, but it’s not like I’ve lost my talent. The only thing I can say for certain, is that things will be better. Starting this weekend.
November 3rd my best friend Ellen, a model named Sharla and I will be going to St.Louis for what promises to be an awesome weekend of shooting. I am super excited to take time off from being a professional multitask-er and focus on what it means to truly makes something beautiful. I am so excited to get out of Springfield and work with some amazing people!
Good things to come- XOHXOH